....maybe you shouldn't be doing it.
Ok
so true confessions -- I backslid a bit emotionally with Tex.
He reached out to me with a branch of friendship (my achilles heel) -- and I got sucked back in to the idea of him
and when he was sure that the hook sank a bit -- he eased back
wow
that sounds horrible right?
But here's what I've decided
He just wants to know that I'm there if he wants me
but
He doesn't really want me
He thinks he might want me
he might even want to want me
but he doesn't
and
I have to just remind myself that this is manipulative behavior (outside of the level of manipulation that we consent to) -- and unhealthy for me
and even if he isn't acting out of malice
it is horribly selfish of him
and I must not allow this to continue.
In the meantime -- I am back vanilla dating (God help me) -- and also have a lovely date with my FWB, D on my birthday where we will go out to my favorite restaurant and then appreciate the crap out of each other until we pass out.
Happy Birthday to me.
