Hope Springs Eternal

So I talked with D

and he said he wants to be more
and
that he was trying to be what he thought I wanted
while
I was only asking for what I thought he would give

neither wanting to ask for more

and

while I don't believe it will work
I don't believe that he has the time
or
the ganas (sorry - English fails me here -- it's a combination of desire and want and need) to go after it

but

Here's the truth

I love D
not in the way that I love Tex
differently

he's a big part of my journey
part lover
part big brother (in a nonincestuous way)

I think he loves me like a pet
a favorite toy
something he cherishes

and

in so many ways he is perfect
I am safe with him
physically
emotionally

and we are both safe from breaking each other's hearts

and while I think I'll end up disappointed
it is worth the time to find out

Now I'll just have to remind him that my behind is chilly and make sure that he wakes up the sleeping sub a bit
or

I'll be in no shape at all when I finally get to see Tex again

B