Missing

I know that I've been missing in action -- and I've made several attempts to write a blog entry -- both here and on an old blog and found that I didn't have anything I wanted to say

or think anyone wanted to read

but today

I was standing on my perpetually slightly sticky kitchen floor and realized I was blogging in my head

and when that happens it is usually best to start writing or to contact a psychiatric professional because the voices in your head are taking over.

So yes -- I've been missing
and much has happened

there have been good things -- my little one is mine now and forever
and there have been bad things  -- losing my Dad -- and ending things with someone I thought would be the one

some of my professional frustrations have been magically fixed - -Deus Ex Machina style with more than one senior leader who didn't particularly care for me moving on to new things

a do-over

and there have been dates

good ones and bad ones

and I come back - much in the same place that I started.

I am still buscando -- searching

but not because I'm less than
or missing things that I must have

but because I would like to find him if I can

because I am missing contact
and love
and companionship

and am I missing TTWD? -- I'm not even sure if I do that Thing We Do anymore

I'm dating on both sides -- and am less and less concerned with the labels

I hope I'll have something to say again -- we shall see

but I will say that one thing I'm missing

is you

Good night my friends -- see you -- tomorrow?  maybe not - but soon

Beatrice