A Beating

HA -- I tricked you

no no

not THAT kind of beating

the first meeting beating

when all you thought was awesome about someone ends up being
the only thing that was awesome about them

I jumped the gun and agreed to a first meeting skipping phone -- because we connected so well online

just a coffee

and

endless

fucking

coffee

filled with painful silences

a fruitless attempt to get me to sit in his car with him
and

awkward exchanges like this:

Me:  So - what are some of your favorite places around here (town I used to live in)
Him:  Oh - Jason's Deli is great -- and Target - -I love Target - -but everything there is so expensive - -like $20 more than Walmart --
Me:  Why don't you just shop at Walmart?
Him:  Walmart's always a madhouse - but I end up going over to Walmart and getting it and then taking the other back to Target -- but Target has better things so it's easier to pick something because Walmart will have other brands that are crap and don't hold up right next to it....

fucking shoot me

I felt like I was being punked.
and I seriously considered the fake emergency text from my mom

I took a shower for this
and wasted a night of babysitting

I put on makeup
and a dress

on the way home I got a text from him saying "Sorry -- I meant to give you money for your mom to sit"
I reminded him that A) I don't need it and B)  my mom sits for free -- and he says, "I just wanted you to know I'm responsible"

sigh

I should have taken the money

I earned it

B