I spoke with Tex last night
he asked me why I stopped blogging
and I said I didn't feel I had anything to say
and that it must be coming out wrong because the readers seem to be misunderstanding me
but
it's not the only reason
the reason is that I'm still heart broken
and he still reads
and I can't write out the heartbreak with him reading
because frankly Tex -- I'm sort of mad at you for messing things up.
and I can love him and be mad at him and know I need to move on at the same time
and there are things one just doesn't say straight on.
so
I'm going to decide what to do
I may go back to the old blog
or
I may close up and quit
I'm here. Reading. Wondering about you, about how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteWishing you'd post more - though I get that you aren't posting for me.
Wishing things were working out better.
And I do get the being mad. And yes, it's very possible to still love someone even when you are mad at him.
F
I do understand what you're going through. And you will be missed if you decide to quit blogging, but I understand that too...I just can't get back into blogging, though I wish I could. If you do move, please let us know where :-)
ReplyDeletebutterfly
I have been checking every day, wondering how you are doing...hoping to hear from you. I understand the mad yet still loving...and the need for a break..Please don't just disappear...and i also miss updates on Miss Pixie!
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I only just found you. I don't know the backstory. I do, however, know what it means to be angry and hurt and sad. I know how hard it is to know what to write when what you want to write is "out there" for everyone to see. I have found that by waiting that time through the words come back. Differently, but back. I wish you well ...
ReplyDeleteWe would miss you soooo much...
ReplyDeletelove,
sofia
What they said. All of it.
ReplyDeleteI have followed you through three incarnations, each very different. I like your spirit and I love your voice, and I would miss you if you go.
With that said, I do understand being in a place where you just can't be that vulnerable, you just can't. Do whatever you need to to take care of yourself, Beatrice.
Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteFiona
You'd be greatly missed.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand how you feel, and am going through something similar myself. But the urge to write will return (as it has for you before). Thinking of you and hoping that things sort themselves out soon xx
ReplyDelete