Bumps in the road

I have some friends who are new to the foster world

they got a placement of twins -- premature

and those twins went back home this week
and on that same day
they were investigated by the state for a complaint

C called me in a panic
H was home with their birth kids and the investigator
C was fighting traffic to get home
and try
to help

she was confused
and scared and angry

and

it came to me how much I've grown
how I've changed through this process

how
transformed I am
by it

I told her

"you are on a journey
to become a Zen Mother Fucker
and all of this will teach you flexibility
and adaptability and patience....
...and one day...you will realize that all you need to do
is take care of your kids
and love them

and the rest will work out
and you too will be a Zen Mother Fucker"

somewhere along the way
I started to transform
and I want to thank the blogosphere

the existence of the blog itself -- for giving me a place to get out my words
and  for the readers
who helped me
and encouraged me
and gave me permission to roll my eyes or laugh at the whole thing
who
helped me to become

or start to become

A MotherFuckingZenMaster

so I could pass it on