Day by Day

Wednesdays are the worst

I take the baby to visit the birth mom
and

I sit

and wait

in a pizza hut for her to come back

I read my kindle

I sit
and read some book I've read before

because I can't concentrate
because

I just stare out the window
waiting for them to come back

I eat wings
it's 50 cent wing day
every wednesday

and I wait

At 5 I begin to fidget
because it's time for the baby to come back

and at 5:15 I can't read at all any more
I'm looking every 2 minutes

tonight
she didn't come back until 6:00

birth mom wouldn't leave
and
the worker is protecting me from them following him
but

I just want her to come back

and this

is my wednesday every week

I spent some time talking with the worker at the end
when she was back in my arms

and he told me the new date would either be

October

or

November

or

January

and you could feel the despair some off both of us in waves
wanting this to be done

and wanting only the best for this little one

and knowing that we'll feel the same

next wednesday