He gives me what I need

I wish he were here

but he's not

I'm not there
he's not here

and I'm glad he has someone who meets his needs

and he says he's glad I have the same

sometimes we both worry that the other will get hurt by this
and we regularly check on it

"are you sure?"

and we both say yes

and it's funny

I'm sure that I'm ok with him having her
it's worrying that he won't be ok with me having my friends

and

he's the same

he says he feels guilty when he has to tell me he's going to see her

silly man

I know I have his heart
even though he's not at the I love you stage
I'm in there

(Sorry Daddy -- it's true)

this week
as I cross off the days to the big day
and I stress

I know I've needed a distraction

I've asked for phase 2 of my punishment this weekend
to help me focus

in the meantime

I needed some contact
I needed arms around me
and someone to shut up the worries

and that's not Bennie

Bennie is too

too new?

It's D

D's been around a long time

and he knows me

he knew that tonight
I needed it for me
not to service him
but to be used

and he grabbed me as he came in the door
and marched me to my room
pushed me down
and spanked me until I softened

and he made me cum until I begged to stop
his hand on my throat as he ordered me to focus on my breath

and after
he listened to me as I talked and worried a bit
and shed a tear or two

and now
not so very long after coming in my door
he's gone again

and I'm a bit sore
but a lot less stressed

texting a bit with Tex
and feeling very lucky
that even though D knows me enough to know when I need caring for
instead of servicing him

that Tex has already learned me well enough
to know that  need this
this touch
the intimacy
the roughness
and to give it to me

however we can