Pages

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Nerves

So

I'm nervous
and I've decided that I'm allowed to get out my nervousness and be done with it

no more negative thoughts or words allowed

so

here it is -- ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT COULD HAPPEN:


HE COULD HATE ME

sure --it's possible that we've spent hours and hours talking in over a month and we'll discover that we only have 1.5 hours of conversation in us a day -- it's possible that our chemistry won't work.

but I think it's unlikely

Yes -- I've liked people before and had it not work out - -had the big fizzle at the meeting

but if I go back and review each and every one of them I have either

A)  Ignored important things that I shouldn't have or
B)  Rushed into meeting him without really finding out if I liked him

so -- I'm going to dismiss this one -- it's possible -- but not likely --



HE COULD BE AN AXE MURDERER

Hmm -- of course -- you hear about horror stories

but I think it would be easier to find someone to murder closer by
who would drive her car over
and not create so many public records

Tex has already been informed that I plan to leave DNA evidence ALL over his car and house -- and plan to leave quite a bit on him

so if he kills me -- I'll be the last victim -- so we can pretty much eliminate that one.

(on a serious note - I will of course take all precautions -- but unlikely meetings that many of us have with people in coffee houses -- I know who he is -- where he works -- I have mailed a letter to his house (which he as received) -- I think him to be either NOT an Axe murderer -- or a very poor and inexperienced one)


HE COULD BE MORE DOM THAN I BARGAINED FOR

ok

let's be honest

he's more Dom than I thought I wanted
he's more possible future partner than I thought I wanted

but this is one of those times when you have to tell yourself to shut up
and enjoy

live

discover

find out who you are
and who you are going to be

it's about trust

and what it comes down to is that I trust this man to not break me
to push
and encourage
and teach

but all within my abilities

and if he's not the man who is up to that
then

we're not meant to be together

and that's important to know to


so

Those are my nerves and worries
and
my plan
is to NOT spend any more time on it

and to only entertain fantasies of the happy sort

Tex -- perhaps we can add that to the tally of things I could be punished for?  -

yes

happy worrying only
like how will I ever decide what to pack????





10 comments:

  1. Oh the "What to Pack" is the worst!
    I have a feeling you're going to be just fine.. happy and surprised and glad you took the chance.
    I always have trouble with the days before meeting.. but when it happens.. well, you tell us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @nbs -- Thank you -- I'm glad I'm taking the chance too

      so much to do -- so little time!

      B

      Delete
  2. He might be more Dom than you thought you wanted. But it does seem like he's pretty persuasive.

    And maybe it will be awesome.

    -sin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Sin - I hope so!

      and yes -- more than I wanted -- but then again - if he Dommed me only the amount I thought I wanted - it wouldn't be very Dom of him -- would it?

      B

      Delete
  3. Thats a great list of things to be worried about...and cleverly handled. I'm thinkin' you won't need much in the way of clothing...*ahem* (giggling)...

    nilla

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Nilla -- and yet -- I keep setting things aside to take!

      B

      Delete
  4. HE COULD HATE ME - Now I could never hate you baby. You are to sweet and sexy to hate. I do love talking to you. We seem to be able to talk about anything.

    HE COULD BE AN AXE MURDERER - I could be but I would want to be one that no one knew about..:)

    HE COULD BE MORE DOM THAN I BARGAINED FOR - Yes I could be but I think you will enjoy me being the Dom that I am. You seem to have taken to me so far and I am sure that you will enjoy more as it comes along . I do know that I have enjoyed having you as a submissive. I look forward to teaching and showing you more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Tex

      no matter what we'll be friends -- and maybe I could help you with that Axe Murderer thing -- be an accomplice instead of a victim?

      & Thank you Daddy -- I am doing my best to make you proud

      B

      Delete
  5. Love his answers!

    Omg soooo happy and excited...

    It's not soon enough.

    We'll all go insane with anticipation.

    <3 and hugs,
    mouse

    ReplyDelete