Returning to normal

My alarm will go off in a few moments
I stayed up a bit too late last night to finish my assignment from Tex

he called me out on our call

because he said that I owed him my feedback on our weekend
and I hadn't sent it

in truth
I thought I owed it to him at some point in the first few days
and was a bit down yesterday

so I put it off

but that's not the only reason I put it off

I'm worried
that I care for him
and he doesn't feel the same for me

and I've written about this before

the idea that both of us have to be at the same spot at the same time is silly
and
impossible

I have worried that he will come out of the weekend thinking

"well - she'll do for now -- but there's no long term there"
and I'll be blithely falling (again) and ending up crushed.

Yes (ok - I started to type the BAD word that starts with a "y" and gets my ass spanked)

that's what I've been worried about

I feel better after seeing him
and talking to him

and frankly
how could he not know that I'm head over heels for him?
the idea that he wouldn't is insane.

so I wrote my email
and sent it on it's merry way.

and await his response